Ever eaten Feng Zhao? Phoenix Claws? They’re the same thing: chicken feet. On Saturday night, I ate some. Never again. Ever. Rubber and gelatine. Ever tasted a cold McDonald’s Filet o’ Fish? Exactly like that crap.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like my host grabbed a live fowl, ripped off the legs, and threw them onto my plate. They were marinated in a lovely chilli sauce, and were served alongside some lovely drumsticks while I sat next to my host’s hot daughter. But I couldn’t shake the fact that these claw-things tasted like spicy glue filled with small bones. I thank the chicken for giving its life for my meal, but next time, I’m insisting we bury the extremities. Especially the head. I only started this diet a couple of weeks ago, and as I was eating this food, I envisioned my stomach saying “Dude!? What the hell?! First no junk food and now this?? Why are you doing this?!”
I tried one, and my friend told her mother “one is probably enough for him”. But there was a pile there. I figured, if I didn’t eat another, I might be insulting the lady’s cooking. Somehow I ended up eating about four.
Anyway, this post wasn’t supposed to be about adventurous food, it was actually going to be about idiots I heard about recently. Like this guy: He saw two guys communicating in sign language, stupidly assumed they were throwing gang signs at each other, and stabbed one of them. Firstly, if you’ve never seen sign language before (not even on television), then don’t leave your house. You’re too dangerous to live in the outside world. Secondly, violence shouldn’t be used for simply using some gang signs?
Violence should be reserved for people like this: A ball-boy at a major league football match, decided he would help out his team by holding onto the ball so a opposition player couldn’t re-start the game. So he got kicked.
I know some say “there’s no excuse for using violence against children”, and most of the time I’d agree, but in this case, those people are very wrong. Here’s why: This boy did something exceptionally stupid. And he now has over 100,000 followers on Twitter. The boy did something moronic, and is now being liked for it. We shouldn’t be rewarding stupidity, we should be punishing it. In fact, the only person who did the right thing was the football player who kicked this dickhead.
If we don’t punish people for doing dumb things, they’re going to keep on doing it. Like our politicians, or some of our senior police officers. They screw up, nobody kicks them, so they continue doing the same thing.
So, stand up for common sense. If you can lash out at a dumbass, do it. The world may not thank you, but at least in your heart, you’ll know you’re doing the right thing.
If this ballboy gets a university degree, then we can probably stop hitting him.
Your Common Sense Apple A Week 