If I’d written the movie “Speed”, I would’ve included a character who keeps giving Keanu Reeves’s character directions on how to get back to his stop. Although I don’t usually like change, it’s not always a bad thing. If I’d written “Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace”, I would’ve a) given it a shorter title, and b) eliminated Jar Jar Binks. He’s just a really annoying character, with no redeeming characteristics. You’d think George Lucas would’ve learned that, after his disastrous movie “Howard the Duck”. For the same reason as Jar Jar, if I’d written that movie, I would’ve eliminated the character of Howard the Duck.
If I’d written “Titanic”, I would’ve focused less on “Jack” and “Rose”, and in the scene where they’re standing on the front of the boat shouting “I’m King of the Word”, I would’ve had a seagull crap on them. Or an albatross. That would’ve signified the disaster that awaits them!
That’s why the All Blacks getting an additional corporate sponsor isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If sponsors adidas charging New Zealanders more for a fan jersey than everybody else in the world during the 2011 Rugby World Cup wasn’t enough to make people realise that rugby in New Zealand has become Huge Business, then it’s this extra sponsor. AIG needed $US170 billion in bailout money from taxpayers in order to “keep the company afloat”. Once it got that money, it paid its executives, who had caused the corporation to founder in the first place, $165 billion in bonuses. Hey, it was in their contracts.
In the movie “Invictus”, that changed history for the sake of a good story. “Let’s leave out the food poisoning part”, somebody said. “It’s not so great sounding”. That’s Big Business. Just like what the All Blacks are. Our rugby team is so good, a massive corporation thinks that NZ winning its national game will make the nation forget how hugely damaging their company is.
If I’d written that script, I would’ve got another sponsor, one that doesn’t sully the All Blacks’ reputation, like current ones adidas or AIG, by actively ripping off their customers.
But, good luck finding one! And it’s just a little change. At least it’s not McDonald’s. That would’ve been massively hypocritical. “Our team are professional athletes, but they still eat crap! What are you doing wrong that you’re not great like them?”
Speaking of McDonald’s, why doesn’t Ronald McDonald have a girlfriend? Why is his best friend named “Grimace”? Why is he hanging around with a known criminal called “Hamburglar”? “Mayor McCheese” hangs around this this guy, too. Is that corporate corruption? Nothing about that place seems pure!
Anyway, AIG sponsorship is just a small change. The problem is that small changes sometimes lead to bigger changes. Like “Speed 2”. “I love the idea of the bomb on the bus. But make it a cruise ship!” That’s completely different.
Last night, after the AIG announcement, the AB’s ended their long winning streak. That’s Big Business for you.
Your Common Sense Apple A Week 